7 Common Myths About Mormons: Really Want to Know?

1. Mormons don’t have more than one wife. The Church stopped practicing plural marriage like 130 years ago. All those kids in the minivan? Same wife (usually). We aren’t polygamists. We’re just fertile.
2. Mormons aren’t forbidden to drink caffeine. No coffee, tea, tobacco, alcohol, illegal drugs. But no official position on caffeine. Good thing. Some of us are taking Dr Pepper by IV.
3. Mormons don’t have horns. Used to hear this one all of the time, but only rarely now. It’s hair that we don’t have. Just watch conference. But don’t get me wrong: Horns would be cool.
4. Mormons don’t have magic underwear. Yes, if we have gone through the temple, we do wear underclothing that is symbolic of our covenants, but our drawers don’t have any magical properties. My socks, however, can melt steel. But that isn’t magic. It’s a superpower.
5. Mormons don’t ignore the Bible. We do believe in additional scriptures, but we lug around the Bible right along with them. We consider the Bible to be the word of God and revere it as scripture. As a matter of courtesy, I’m not going to bring up that talking donkey in the Old Testament. But you have to admit: That one was a head-scratcher.
6. Mormon’s don’t reject the divinity of Christ. We worship, revere and adore Christ. What people usually mean when they say we don’t believe in Christ is that we don’t believe in their version of Christ. They probably have a point. The Jesus who makes up stuff about what others believe and thinks that his followers should say false, hurtful, and inflammatory stuff about other people in his name? Yeah, we don’t believe so much in that guy.
7. Mormons aren’t all blond and blue eyed. We have some brunettes. Actually, most Mormons live outside the U.S. now. So we are browning up quite nicely these days, with members from all races. (Full disclosure: I have not met any LDS eskimos. I’m sure that we have some. I just don’t get around a lot).


11 Responses to “7 Common Myths About Mormons: Really Want to Know?”

  1. 1 Ryan Hawkins October 11, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Oh, come on! Numbers 22:27-30 is one of my favorite scriptures ever:

    27 And when the ass saw the angel of the Lord, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam’s anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.

    28 And the Lord opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?

    29 And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.

    30 And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? And he said, Nay.

    • 2 R.S. "Rob" Ghio October 11, 2013 at 2:13 pm

      I’m a lawyer: It would hypocritical of me to dispute the existence of talking asses.

      • 3 Ryan Hawkins October 11, 2013 at 2:34 pm

        I just like the fact that Balaam (who is seemingly not even shocked by the occurrence) immediately starts arguing with the ass. The whole story is funny to me.

        But I confess — as funny and entertaining as this story is — I do find myself occasionally wondering whether one of those ancient monks tasked with making hand-written copies of Bible manuscripts was overcome with boredom one day and decided to just have some fun when he got to this chapter.

      • 4 R.S. "Rob" Ghio October 11, 2013 at 2:51 pm

        The story originally was about Balaam’s brother in law, but the monks thought telling the story this way saved space.

  2. 5 Grandpa Chet (the MormonYoYoMan) October 11, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    Native Alaskans, such as our first son-in-law and first three grandkids, are known by their tribal names (Aleut, for instance.) or just plain “natives.” “Eskimo,” derived from the French “Esquimaux,” evidently became a slang term that may have meant “frozen chozen” or “Holy Moly! My fender just froze off!”

  3. 8 tonybrigmon October 11, 2013 at 3:22 pm

    I’ve never heard a real one talk to me, but I’ve acted like a real dumb one more than once, to my chagrin. Great post. Love the combination of humor and facts. Cheers.

  4. 10 Brother Jon October 11, 2013 at 5:44 pm

    Reblogged this on Brother Jon and commented:
    Good reading.

  5. 11 1of10boyz October 11, 2013 at 6:28 pm

    Reblogged this on middlekingdom1of10boyz and commented:
    Always a good read. The knock most people have on the Bible, against Mormons and “Other Believers”, is we take what is written there too literally; 6 Day creation, talking Asses, Flooded world, parted red sea, Resurrection, Devil, etc. I have found in most cases that the Mormons are a little more willing to see the point of the story without questioning how it actually happened. Since how it happened isn’t nearly as important as what is shows and implies.

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